For I Know the Plans I Have For You....

On Our Way

2012-03-08T07:47:00.000-08:00

We made it to Chicago bright and early this morning, connecting to Beijing at 12:00. Of course this morning had too much action as I did not make it to the airport with my backpack that has ALL THE IMPORTANT PAPERWORK! I remember laying it down on the porch with the rest of the luggage when I went back in to lock up. Our trusted chauffeur Jimmy, Hank's partner, flew back to our house and back to the airport!! We made it with about 20 minutes to spare. Jimmy, we cannot thank you enough, thanks for breaking all speed laws in Shelby county:)

We pray that is all the excitement we have today!!

New Favorite Janie Pic!

2012-03-06T20:15:00.000-08:00

The Big Picture......

2012-03-05T19:55:00.000-08:00

Isiah 55:8

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord."

I'm not sure I will ever be able to comprehend all God has done to bring Janie to our family. It all started with Him making my heart ache for "Lili". I will forever be grateful to two women who were willing to let God use them and to share their stories on their blogs. I "met" both Diana and Jennifer through their blogs and started sponsoring "Lili" from reading about Pearl River Outreach on Diana's blog. We had emailed over the years about various things but when I emailed her on New Years Eve 2010, I believe God set into motion what He has known all along. My simple question was " what are the chances of being able to adopt "Lili"?"

As the weeks went by I had also been following Jen's blog and read how they were starting the adoption process again. I called Diana one Saturday, while trying to make the decision of what agency we needed to go with, and find out that Jen had just been able to get the file of her child she had been praying for, Gracie. It was that little glimmer of hope that pushed us forward and take that leap of faith to "go for it" and we knew what agency to go with. We knew that God could do it , but was that his will for us or not? We figured we will never know unless we were willing to try, so try we did!

Well, obviously we all now know that it is His will for Janie to become our daughter and sister. I am so very thankful to Diana's and Jen's willingness to share their stories and of course the millions of answers they have both given me over this past year:) From please go enjoy a glass of wine, to you definitely need head phones, they have herded me along this path. So dear sweet friends, I thank you for the part you graciously took along with God in brining my precious Janie home. Hugs to you both!

Diana with Emme and Jennifer with Gracie:)

We will have to figure out how to get these little girls and big girls to meet in person!

A Wheel, A Mouse And A Hike..............

2012-03-04T15:48:00.000-08:00

That pretty much sums up the first few days of our break. Any time Hank and I go somewhere with or without children we leave with a few stories. I don't know if we ask for trouble or if we just enjoy laughing at the predicaments we always seem to put ourselves in, we do love to laugh!

Before we left, I had us kinda packed in a hanging bag and one of our smaller suitcases for China. Hank took one look and said it would not be large enough for all his stuff,aka running shoes, another pair of running shoes just like the first pair but he only uses them for walking, his boots, another pair of boots just like the first but used for something else......need I say more:). Well all the other suitcases are already full of China stuff so he brings down a suitcase we bought in Guangzhou our last trip. I think we paid 10 dollars for it. I naively said if it made it home from China, surely it can make it to Tucson and back. Famous last words......Hank had only pulled it maybe 8 feet from the car when the wheel along with the contraption that attaches it to the suitcase fell off. A hole about the size of your fist was left at the corner with liner still intact, thank goodness. We almost wet our pants we laughed so hard! I'm so glad I'm a girl and he got stuck carrying it!

Now the mouse was kinda funny as well. We came back from lunch yesterday and our back door was wide open. I don't think I had closed it well when I came in from sitting quietly by myself drinking coffee and reading, this has been a very relaxing trip! We were sitting in the den and a little field mouse, or I guess a desert mouse ran by me and under the couch. Yes, I screamed, he was kinda cute though but grosses me out thinking he may run over my feet or bite my toe. Hank was on the phone, yes of course he was, and tried to find him for a minute but we could not. I did not want to walk without my shoes on until we got in bed:). Anyway, this morning I saw Hank's hat on the floor and jokingly told him the mouse tore it up. Of course he did not believe me. Well just a minute after that the mouse sat right next to his hat. He threw a shoe at him, stunned him and carried him outside. I felt a little sorry for that poor mouse by then.

The "hike". We wanted to run,walk a trail yesterday and asked the concierge about it. She directed us to the national park next door, saying it's easy and clearly marked. We should have known when Hank back tracked to me 5 minutes into the walk to make sure I could find the sign, not so clear but I think I would have figured it out. This was not a little hike, we're talking rock climbing at some parts. I'm really not afraid to be by myself like that and was just going along when Hank back tracked again because he got all turned around and he is like GI Joe. Anyway he got me through that part and ran ahead again. I got turned around a few times after that but finally found a backwards sign and was on my way again. We met up and as we were walking out the gate, Hank asked if I had seen all his arrows in the dirt??? My answer was " what arrows?". A group of people standing there said " yeah, we loved the arrows". I didn't see a one. Pretty sure I'm not going on my own again:) we figured we went about 7 miles for me and 9 for Hank haha! It will make up for all this awesome food we are eating.

By the way I did go walking, or mountain climbing, again this morning while Hank was in a meeting. It was just a horse trail and I figured it can't be that bad. Yep, got lost again but I could see the ranch and figured out how to get back. I think I will stick to my neighborhood trail:)

We have truly enjoyed this time together as well as the group with us. We have slept well and eaten well which I'm sure will not be true this time next week. My heart flip flops every time I think about leaving for China on Thursday......so very ready to move on to this next chapter....

Our Itinerary.......

2012-03-03T08:09:00.002-08:00

Hank and I are on a forced relaxation trip to Arizona right now.....well he is not relaxing right now, speaking at the conference, but is free from 12 on today. We are visiting the Tanque Verde Ranch with alot of free time, I have to admit it is just what we needed before our big trip to China. I actually did not wake up at 3 a.m unable to go back to sleep thinking of all I need to be doing. It will have to wait until Monday night:) my bet is that I don't sleep much once we get home and on that plane on Thursday morning so I will take advantage of this much needed trip. It sure is nice to actually have a full conversation with my husband!

Here is our itinerary, my heart skips a beat every time I read March 12th 10:30, meet your child! It is finally time, and it is real. I truly can't express my emotions for Janie and that God has seen fit to give her to us, we are so very blessed! This past year has been spent wondering and hoping for her, wondering and hoping for God's perfect will. Overwhelmed is not a strong enough word to express my feelings of gratitude and awe that God has given me everything I have prayed for concerning Janie. When I am anxious with worry over how this precious child will respond to us, I rest in knowing that God has her and us right where He wants us.

Oh yeah, enough rambling, here is our itinerary:

3-9 Arrive in Beijing at 3:40 pm

3-10 sightseeing, Great Wall, Forbidden City, Tian An Men Square. We toured these on our last trip but wanted the children to experience them.

3-11 7:25 am flight to Changsha, arrive at 9:45

3-12 10:00 am interview appointment at Civil Affairs
10:30 MEET JANIE, LI QING ZHONG

3-13 9:00 am paper work at civil affairs

3-14 shopping,free day

3-15 visit museum

3-16 get Janie's passport
5:20 flight to Guangzhou, arrive 6:30

3-17 9:30 visa photo, then medical exam and TB test

3-18 tour Chen Family's Temple

3-19 TB test result appointment

3-20 free day

3-21 10:00 am Consulate appointment, oath taking ceremony

3-22 guide will pick up American Consulate visa for Janie
4:12 train to Hong Kong

3-23 11 am flight to Chicago

Arrive Chicago 12 pm, yes same day as we gain a day on the way home. Sure does not feel
like it though:)

Arrive in Memphis at 5:25

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye My Love.......

2012-02-29T14:38:00.000-08:00

So true!! All my friends know how much I love to swim, honestly I'm just a generally a nicer person when I swim regularly. If I'm grumpy Hank will encourage me to go swim:)

I believe my swimming days are coming to a close for a while and it is totally worth it. I just can't imagine putting Janie in a nursery when everything around her is so new. I'm hoping to be able to go on Saturdays, but we will just have to see. I swam today and realized it would be my last time for a while so I tried to kill myself in hopes that I would not miss it. Instead I was just more hungry :)

Confirmation.....

2012-02-28T18:43:00.000-08:00

Yes! We received confirmation today for our consulate appointment on March 21st, which means we leave next Thursday the 8th. So crazy! And of course Hank and I are leaving Friday for a conference he is speaking at in Tuscon! Haha, will get back Monday evening and get back on a plane at 6am on Thursday. Only the Wright's, kinda predictable for us:).

We are so thankful we get to leave earlier than planned, as John David will now just miss a week of school since one of the weeks is spring break. Honestly, this is what we prayed and hoped for all along. I love it when God graciously gives us our desires! As I said, we are thankful, hopeful and slightly stressed:)

John David's Early Bday Party!

2012-02-27T12:11:00.000-08:00

We celebrated John David's April 2nd birthday with his friend Graham yesterday. Graham's birthday was in January and we were certain that we would be in China on April 2nd. So nice how that didn't happen and we get to go earlier:). They invited their classmates to SkyJump, a trampoline extravaganza! Jumping was done, pizza and cake eaten and fun galore!!

Still trying to act like Gardner and NOT smile:)

The birthday boys

Another model pose:)

They never stopped moving except to catch their breath!

Gardner was Madeline's chosen one!

It was a fun time for all!!

Now we will get to celebrate again with our family on his "real" birthday at HOME with his new sister!!

Still have not heard back about our consulate appointment, hopefully tomorrow.....those ticket prices just keep on rising while we wait!

AN ADDY FOR ALLIE!!

2012-02-25T20:47:00.000-08:00

Wow what a fun night. Allie won a gold Addy for her Summer Poster Series for the Orpheum!! I had never heard of an Addy until a few weeks ago. It is the Grammy, Emmy of the advertising world. She won a gold at the local level and will now go to the regional level and then on to state ect if she continues to win.

Her "Summer Poster Series"

The Orpheum hosts movies during the summer and this is what Allie came up with:)

The beginning of the awards

Just cause......really? is that red hair or what?

Another of the interesting peeps we saw....

Seriously had some trouble focusing on the screen, kinda left some important things out....like a GOLD

Then the surprise of the night happened.....

Allie won "Peoples Choice Award"

She was so very surprised!!!

The cool thing about the night is all the winners were with large agencies with a team of workers, then there is Allie Mounce, lone graphic designer for the Orpheum and she won 2 awards!

Allie we are so happy for you and so proud of your creativity and hard work!!!!

I think Daddy is smiling down on you tonight:)

We love you sweet girl!!!!

Thanks for a fun night!

It's Here..........

2012-02-24T16:00:00.000-08:00

I got the email at 2:30 today and have been overjoyed ever since. The kids squealed when I picked them up form school and said "we're going to China!" :)

So much fun to finally say it!! We will find out Monday if we leave on March 8th or the 15th.........

I know.... I better get it together!! Hank and I go to Tuscon on the 2nd -5th so it would be just like us to leave for China on the 8th. Always hanging by a thread over here!!!!:) So very thrilled!!!

Qing Qing!!!!

2012-02-22T15:45:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we received some new info on our Janie:)

1. Li Qing Zhong's nickname is Qing Qing.

Qing: Deep blue color (“ching”)

We always say Qing Qing Xiao Cao. It means green grass.

2. Ms.Meng has received the package from adopted family of Li Qing Zhong. There are some pictures and toys inside. I have told Ms.Meng to take more pictures of Li Qing Zhong with the pictures and toys that her family mailed to her.

3. Ms.Meng has received the hair bow today. I have told her taking more pictures also.

Hoping to get those picture of Qing Qing next week!

We also received her quarterly report:

Lili's foster mother reports that the Lili laughs more than before. She dresses & undresses herself daily. She is very close with her foster parents. She loves to sing Chinese children songs and dance with the music. Her foster mother reported that Lili looks at the photo album of her adoptive family everyday. She points to the picture of her mom, dad, brother and sister and hugs the picture. Lili has begun to greet people and now says "thank you". She always ask "why" and has begun to scribble on paper. She uses chopsticks to eat by herself.

She is 36.6 inches tall and weighs 30 pounds:)

pic from her first care package....

Still waiting on TA......someone with an ART5 of 2-7 got theirs today. Our ART5 is 2-10 so maybe next week????

Consumed.......

2012-02-19T07:24:00.000-08:00

Yep, I'm totally consumed by this wait for Travel Approval. The thought of travel and finally meeting Janie is always on my mind. My thoughts are all over the place, all.the.time. I cannot think straight! We are on day 9 of the wait....maybe this week, next week or the next...sigh. But I DO see the end in sight, and we will be on a plane before we know it.

I have a strong suspicion this is not how she will feel when she meets us the first time,

Wii B Gamers....Talent Show

2012-02-17T07:07:00.000-08:00

John David had his talent show last night. He has participated since kindergarten and always has a great time. This year he was Perry the Platypus, thank goodness for google help with the costume!!

So fun!!!!

My Sweet Janie.......

2012-02-15T06:24:00.000-08:00

We are coming soon!!!!!

This last one just gets to me! Those deep soulful eyes speak volumes. I can't even express how ready I am to kiss her little cheeks and tell her how much we love her! We're coming soon sweet baby!

"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Luke 12:7

Ralph and Art 5

2012-02-09T16:13:00.000-08:00

Ralph is seriously the best cat ever....and that is coming from a dog person! He meows outside our bedroom occasionally at 5 a.m. and we just put a pillow over our heads:) Lately he has decided his throne is Goldbug's kennel. It is so funny...he.will.not.get.out.....I have to grab him out when I have to put Goldbug in when leaving home!

You're gonna have to make me! haha

As far as our ever growing adoption wait we have been at a standstill....ugggggggggg! Our Article 5 (adoption lingo) will be ready to be picked up tomorrow...FINALLY! The average time is 20 days and ours has taken 35...sigh....deep sigh! For some reason our agency was not able to get it to the consulate in Guangzhou for 10 days....hmmmm. So that and Chinese New Year set us back. Tired of trying to figure it out so I have moved on.

All that to say we will be officially waiting for our TA ( travel approval) as of Monday. IF we are to receive it in the average time, we should receive it by March 8th. Then depending on when we are able to get our consulate appointment scheduled we can FINALLY MAKE TRAVEL PLANS! We are hoping to leave the 3rd week of March but the 4th is more likely, putting us in China the first 2 weeks of April. I'm good with that since I know God is in control, wished for sooner but He knows better than I do what is best. I take comfort in that and that alone!

Busy Weekend........

2012-02-07T11:48:00.000-08:00

This past weekend was all about John David:). In 24 hours he had his last basketball game, pinewood derby and a championship swim meet....whew! Not one of them had the outcomes he wanted but it was still a great weekend:)

Our basketball season was not as great as the boys hoped but they sure did improve over the season. They looked like little pros by the end!

Praying before the game

this pic is so out of focus but I just have to use it anyway.....I love that Hank has coached John David's team every year since 2nd grade!!!

Now to the pinewood derby. ~~John David~~ Hank worked tirelessly on the car. I now think Hank is not in the correct line of work.....he was totally anal about this car haha, even joked about keeping it in the safe!! They sure wished it was as fast as it is cool!!! They were certain they would place first but only placed 2nd to 4th in different heats......oh well......there is always next year. I'm betting Hank is already researching how to make it faster......just sayin

before the race, notice they have the car protected in the towel.....:)

checking in

their "angry birds" car

a few competitors

Gardner and Kendyl could not miss the action:)

Madeline was never far from John David's side the entire time!

that is the happiest look John David could muster.... next year will be here before we know it!!!

Last but not least, the swim meet on Sunday.......

getting ready for race #1

looking at his time

happy with his time:)

Mom can't beat that 34.44......man it hurts getting old sometimes!

He was not happy with that time, lost a second.....a second is alot in swimming they think:)

I can tell all the way across the pool that he was not happy with that time. 50 Back is usually one of his best and he lost 4 seconds I think.....I told him he still got 4th and he informed me that the place does not matter, it is his time and it was worse than he has had in the past! Well, I know now!:) The whole broken hand thingy cost him this time.....there's always another meet. This Mommy is so very proud of him. He works so hard at swimming an gives it his all, ended up with 3 2nd places, a 3rd and a 4th. Not bad in my book:)

His next meet is on March 31st and this mama is hoping he has to miss it because he is in CHINA!! fingers crossed, double crossed, legs crossed ect....

Eleven Years Ago Today......

2012-02-04T07:05:00.000-08:00

God gave me the gift of my husband. He literally handed him to me on a silver platter. Over the years since that day, I have felt guilty at times that God would give me such a sweet man so soon after Jeff's passing.....as I watched many other widows continue in their struggle alone. One day it hit me......just as I had to accept the bad in my life, I also have to accept the good. I am so very thankful God gave me this sweet man!

¹⁷ Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Hank knows the good, the bad, and the ugly about me and loves me anyway. When we got married Hank knew nothing of the world of raising children, yet was willing to jump right in to help raise three children. The only thing he knew about them was how deeply I loved and protected them from all the hurt they had experienced in their young lives. He was willing, and does not ever take his role in their lives lightly. It was his love for them that helped me understand the love I could and do have for a child that is not biologically mine.

Hank, if I had to choose one thing I love most about you it would be your willingness to try and make things right. Your love for me and our family is evident to everyone that knows you. I don't know another soul on this earth who could pull off what you have over the last 11 years. It has been an adventure I could not have ever imagined. When we married 11 years ago we would have both laughed if someone told us we would add three more children to our mix. I think God rubbed His hands together in delight as He looked down on us that day and planned the path He would take us on....

I love you with all my heart and am so very thankful for YOU!

I Have To Laugh.......

2012-01-30T17:10:00.000-08:00

This is what I saw when I sat down at the desk on Saturday.....

1. I did not know she knew how to spell dog, let alone know how to use upper and lower case letters correctly.

2. Her Daddy is a veterinarian......just makes it so funny that "Dog" is her first word, secretly written on the wall twice!!

She did help clean after I stopped laughing!

100 Day Celebration!

2012-01-28T18:45:00.000-08:00

The Jr Kindergarten classes at Madeline's school celebrated their 100th day on Friday. What an event!!!! She had a great time as did all her friends.....

I got to take this sweet group around for all the different activities

Getting ready to blow the candles out on their 100 day celebration cake

It was a fun morning!!!

All I can say about this week is AHHHHHHH! It sure is nice to have my sweet Madeline back! This picture sums up her behavior the past few days.....

I love you sweet girl!!!!

Rest For the Weary.....

2012-01-25T17:20:00.000-08:00

Today was a great day. Madeline was so enjoyable to be around all.day.long.

Jeremiah 31:25 "I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." .......that He did!

Birthday Smiles......

2012-01-23T11:53:00.000-08:00

What a weekend, ~~we survived~~ had a wonderful time, ~~won't mention the fits that were had~~....nuff said!

Madeline had her special day at school on Friday:

birthday note on her cubby

John David watching her do her journal work

Madeline's reaction to Gardner and Kendyl surprising her by coming to her special day!

getting to act like the teacher

"Georgie" left her a present

We had a wonderful morning with our little M!

Saturday, she celebrated her birthday with a few friends at Build a Bear

the entourage, minus Julianne (she could not get in town until later in the day)

because our princess loves Power Rangers:)

Yep she got the entire Power Ranger piece because you only turn 5 once ~~Mom did not want a scene~~

thank goodness that is all she ate of her 12 pound piece!

and this is how Mom felt when it was over!

And ~~finally~~ lastly her actual birthday on Sunday, I have NO idea why I was not smart enough to have her party on Sunday instead of Saturday!

Yes that is her own itouch (used but she does not have to know that:)

M loved her pink cover!

Princess shoes for my Power Ranger lover

Oh happy day!

We love you sweet Madeline!

Madeline's Birthday Weekend!

2012-01-21T18:20:00.000-08:00

This says it all:)

with a little spiciness added for good measure!

Madeline's birthday is tomorrow.....

we had her special day at school on Friday morning

her party with a few friends today

and dinner with the fam tomorrow

more to come......

Just Sad......

2012-01-19T16:58:00.000-08:00

I hesitate to post this, yet I want Madeline to know the depth of our love for her when she reads this as she grows older. Two years ago we met with an adoption specialist regarding Madeline's rages. She was a wealth of information and helped us greatly, specifically helping me "get into" Madeline's head. We starting holding therapy whenever she fell apart and could not control herself.......until she is able to control herself and let us help her. It is so very hard, can take a full hour of fighting, which is where the "just sad" statement is from. Just sad that she has been so greatly affected by the laws imposed upon Chinese parents which make them leave their sweet baby on the steps of an orphanage. Just sad for this mother and father that try desperately to help her heal. She did so very well, no holding, for over a year. That came screeching to a halt the night I wrote about her enormous fit a few months or weeks, don't remember....blocked it out.....back.

So, we are back to holding.....and she is responding again. It is THE hardest thing Hank and I have ever had to do in parenting.......just sad that she needs it. As I write that, I am struck with a true thankfulness that she does respond well to the technique and that we are not in a worse predicament. This to me is no different than having a child with a disease......you deal with it and try to figure out all that needs to be done to cure it and give your child the best chance at life (makes me think of children and parents dealing with cancer, there are no words). And love them through it. That is where we are now....taking it a day at a time and hoping that we see her learn to control herself again.

Seriously I just get mad sometimes that there are so many children out there with broken hearts because they lay in cribs for the first year of their lives, if not longer, waiting for someone to take care of their needs. I have to trust that God has all this in his hands and opens hearts of those he desires to bring a child into their family....to love them with a deep, fierce love that they need and deserve.

So, my sweet Madeline, your mommy and daddy love you as big as the sky and the clouds, even though you tell me sometimes that you hate me as big as the sky and clouds. We are never leaving you no matter what words you choose to say. We trust that you will once again show us your beautiful heart with a giant smile upon your face. We love you more than you can ever imagine.....

Family Visit.....Power Rangers and Princesses

2012-01-16T16:03:00.000-08:00

Hank's family came to visit this weekend, they have lived in Colorado for the past 4 years and just moved back to Tennessee. We have not seen Sarah and Larry and the kids since our fateful trip to Wyoming last summer when Madeline broke her arm and we stayed in the hospital instead of with family:(, ~~such great memories!!!!~~

This weekend was much more enjoyable as long as I can block out Madeline's fits over sharing toys. It is going to be a rough few weeks when we get home with Janie. I sure hope she shares better with someone younger than she did with her cousin who is her same age, Macie was VERY forgiving!! Madeline was either fighting over a toy or having a wonderful time......go figure!! Here are some pics.....

Madeline and Macie are one week apart in age yet Macie is a head taller:)

Showing me their Power Ranger moves:)

Holding hands while Uncle Larry removes a splinter from Macie's hand..

fashion show

CABLED!!

2012-01-10T18:50:00.000-08:00

Two more steps to go, no three......next we will wait for the Article 5 pick up from the US Embassy in Guangzhou, then TA (travel approval) to be issued by CCCWA and lastly our consulate appointment which will take place the last week we are in China:)

It's finally happening!!!

Janie Pics!!!!

2012-01-09T17:49:00.000-08:00

I am so spoiled to get new pics of our girl every month....I am so thankful for them since this wait has been long and hard. I am loving her very girly glammed up coat and hope she is wearing it when she is brought to us. I also love that her foster mother is starting to try to put her hair up:) Maybe she will let me put a bow in her hair!

I especially love this pic:), how she is looking directly into the camera, such a sweet smile!

Ahhh there is that victory sign she knows so well:)

I am in love and have staring at these all day. I can't even wrap my mind around the fact that in WEEKS not lots of months, she will OURS! Makes me smile!

I 800 Approval!

2012-01-02T20:00:00.000-08:00

Yes the process is finally moving a little faster towards Janie:)

I thought the USCIS office was closed today so I did not check my email until tonight and my officer had emailed me at 3:30 to let me know we are approved......yay yay yay.

This now means our approval will be sent to the National Visa Center (NVC) and then be cabled to the US embassy in Guangzhou China. I will start bothering NVC next week to check and see if we are cabled yet:)

Thankful to be moving along! We are a few days ahead of the average right now but I'm sure that will be made up somewhere else along the way. Hoping for TA the last week in February!!

Happy Birthday Sweet Allie!

2012-01-01T18:47:00.000-08:00

We could not figure out what was wrong with the camera on my iphone! Kendyl finally discovered it is the refection of my new phone cover:), hence the blue tone!

Now without the cover:

Twenty-four years ago today I was blessed with my first daughter!! I'm sad to say I don't have many pictures of my sweet girl on my computer since we were not even aware of digital cameras in 1988. I must start scanning them in all my free time:)

You have had many changes this past year:

first year of marriage

first "real" job

taking care of your own home,

husband,

animals,

laundry,

dinners,

money,

car,

etsy store,

free lance work,

the list goes on:)

What a year it has been and I am so proud of you for handling it well.

You are a lovely young lady as my Gramma Gardner would say:)

I love you my sweet girl!!!

A Few Pics

2012-01-01T09:47:00.000-08:00

always the goofball!

one crazy dog:)

Just Cause......

2011-12-31T07:54:00.000-08:00

....he makes me smile!

Odie is the sweetest dog ever!!

One Year Ago Today......

2011-12-31T00:00:00.000-08:00

I got my quarterly report for "Lili" whom we had started sponsoring in October '10. Her eyes had taken hold of my heart when I first laid eyes on her but the thought of trying to adopt her had not entered my mind. I was praying for her and a family for her. Yet on December 31, 2010, God did something to my heart as I read over her quarterly report. I can't really put my finger on it but I was changed. I remember the fleeting thought that "she is my daughter" yet I pushed the thought away. I came back to the computer later that afternoon to look at her again, since I could not stop thinking of her and Madeline had been talking all week long about how "Lili is my sister"; that too I had swept away without a thought.

I just sat and stared at her and decided to email Diana with Pearl River Outreach with "what are the chances??"

Here are the first few emails sent between the two of us:

Diana,

Our family has been praying for our babies! ( we sponsored 2 children) Do you ever find out if they are eligible for adoption yet? I cannot stop thinking about Lili and her precious face AND my sweet Madeline keeps asking about her. How likely is it for a sponsoring family to be able to adopt or is that a total long shot?? I am so aware that God is in control and knows where these children are to be so it certainly does not hurt to ask I hope your family had a wonderful holiday!!!

Thanks so much!

Paige

Hi Paige,

I can not tell you how much I wish I could navigate the system for our sponsors to bring home our children from PRO...

The only thing I can try to find out is if her file is in the process of being made paper ready for the CCAA. Other than that,

it is completely in God's hands. Have you started the dossier process again?

I do believe Lili must be coming up soon. She has been in our program a while now...

Happy New Year,

Diana

We have not started any paper work, I am pulled due to Madeline's insistence What are the chances that we could find out which agency her file would go to??? I know we have a lot of praying to do! Thanks so much!

Happy New Year!

Paige

Do it!!!! You will be soooo blessed!!!!

Sienna was the blessing we needed around here. It was slow at first, but she and Ruby are such sweet sisters now!

Seeing them together is such a joy!!!!

Most likely Lili will go on the shared list... So, there is just no guarantee.... You need an agency who will look for her file.

Let me know if you decide to go forward, and I will see if I can get info on the status of Lili!

Blessings,

Diana

Well as we all know the rest is history. What a miracle God performed for our family and Janie as she is named now. As I look over the past year I can see how much God has stretched me, I won't lie, it has been so very hard....BUT I believe in our God and His plan more than I believe in myself or what the world tells us to believe in. I have doubts daily as to my ability to pull this off, but I know He is faithful and will carry us through. The future is not clear right now, we don't know Janie's exact medical condition and what that will mean for our family. We DO know that God orchestrated every single minute of this past year as He will the upcoming year. I trust that He knows exactly what needs to be done to continue to bring Janie home and to get her the medical treatments, if any, that she may need.

All I can say about this past year is "WOW". The thought of adopting again was not even on our radar, but obviously it was on God's:) I am so very thankful that we are taking this leap of faith and get to experience the wonderful blessing of adoption again. I dream of Janie constantly and can't wait to see her sweet face, to see Madeline become a big sister and see first hand the wonders of adoption. God has blessed us immensely, I am forever grateful that He chose us to be Janie's parents!

Picture from her December '10 quarterly report

The most recent picture we have:).Those sweet eyes still get me every time!

Happy New Year!!!

A Day In The Life.....

2011-12-27T08:21:00.000-08:00

This is what we do on holiday breaks:)

His pinky is broken through the growth plate and will be casted for 2 weeks and taped after that....it is looking like he will have a break from swimming and basketball for a while:(

Oh, and John David does a high pain tolerance, he has not complained since he broke it on Friday AND the Dr reset it in the office. He said "ouch"!

Christmas Recap....

2011-12-26T07:57:00.000-08:00

Yes we have a graphic artist in our family (Allie, a perk of a college education)

Christmas Eve with the Wells

Tyler looks almost drunk with anticipation:)

Jacob really isn't this whiney, just had to post:)

John David and Caden giving their "model" poses

Cat standoff

I don't think Mom is looking:)

I don't have a single pic of Madeline and Carson, they were too busy playing:)

John David and Madeline ready for bed!!

Christmas Day!

Don't the bigs look thrilled:)

Sorry Ju, just had to show you were there:)

The aftermath, I love that the Christmas tree has almost been undecorated by Ralph, he is a tree climber!

Another Christmas already over, next year we will have Janie with us!!

Christmas This And That.....

2011-12-23T19:50:00.000-08:00

This will be a picture catch up for the past few days. We had Christmas with Allie and Eric on Monday since they are spending it with Eric's family this year. On Thursday evening we celebrated Christmas with the Mounce family so there are alot of pics:)

I love these pictures of Julianne and Madeline, if M will take some pics
we take them!!

Allie and Eric gave Madeline princess dress up shoes, she was so excited she ran and gave them both big hugs:)

Don't ever grow up Eric, we love that you still love to get toys!!

as does your brother in law, but he's only 9:)

Christmas with the Mounce Fam

a pile up on Emily

Aunt Karla made the kids work for their money gifts, they had to get through the maze to get the money out:)

Madeline and Lily

John David and Max

Can you tell I made everyone pose so I could finally get some pics!!

Julianne and Aunt Janet, their baby pics looked almost identical

Brooke posed with Goldbug since she kept being left out of pics :)

Mimi with all her grandchildren (minus allie and Eric) and great grandchildren!

It was a wonderful night as always:)

Christmas Time!

2011-12-21T07:45:00.000-08:00

Every year we try to get together with the Weirs for a little Christmas get together.....we have to put it on our calendars in November to get everyone together and even with that Gardner and Kendyl were not able to come. We met downtown in a mostly empty restaurant so the kids could be obnoxious.... and they were. Of course I forgot my camera so we only got BAD iphone pics. I mean really, there is all this talk about how great the camera is on the iphone4 but either it is just bad or I am REALLY bad using it. Most of the pics I have are of Madeline in action, the rest I had to delete because we looked like we were eye glowing aliens:)

After dinner we headed over to the Peabody to see the Christmas tree and there was some sort of "event" going on which we were quite under dressed for and uninvited to! It did not stop us:)

Thank goodness Madeline got a nap!

Madeline decided Sara was her friend again since she would act obnoxious with her

Looking obsessed to me...

Madeline does not need glowing eyes to look obsessed:)

I don't think she EVER stopped moving, she was totally into being a "twirling ballerina"

OK, I exaggerated, she did stop once

I am such a proud mother

Proof of glowing Christmas tree eyes! We had such a nice time with the Weir's, I'm sure they were relieved to leave the Peabody:)

My ballerina

Can't forget the curtsy:)

Yep can't leave this one out:)

Thank you Weirs for a wonderful night, crazies and all!!

It's Not Me

2011-12-18T10:01:00.000-08:00

This past year has really thrown me for a loop. It has been hard, the adoption process is hard as is handling a 4 year old that has a hard time if her Mom is having a hard time. She has been hard to love, I have been hard to love.......

The other night I was out with friends whom I don't talk to on a daily basis and they were talking about how great Hank and I are for adopting again. I am quite taken aback by those kind of comments since we are not really that great. We are just like anyone else that struggles with daily life and don't always handle it in the most gracious of ways. My entire family and close friends can vouch for that. God started this all!! I don't know why he chose to give us the desire to adopt not just one, but two children who were once orphans and no longer are. He just did. I don't think it makes us so great or unselfish that we said "yes". We are both selfish at times and we are both fallen. I don't think this has much to do with Hank and me at all, but more to do with God and his desire for two children to have a family and the love of a Mom and Dad that they may not have had otherwise. I think it has to do with His desire to make us be closer to Him and mold us into what He wants us to be. Maybe we need more work than others out there, I don't know. I do know that He has been up to something in my life for a very long time now and I am thankful for that. Yes, I do have moments that I wish my life were smooth and that I was not struggling with it all. But then I think about what I would be missing, the REAL part of life. I would not get to watch the struggle of my sweet Madeline come to terms with who she is, to see God work in her sweet heart. I don't think I ever had to search my other children like I do her. I did not have to cry out to God to help mend a broken heart of a 4 year old. The older three have had broken hearts but they were always able to rest in the fact that their father did not leave on his own accord and loved them with all that he was.

Madeline does not have that......and she is hurt daily with the reality that she was left by a China Mommy and Daddy as she calls them. The questions have been frequent and hard lately as she is putting it all together since we are going through the process of bringing Janie home. I just have to tell her I don't know all the answers, but I know her China parents would so love her if they could. She is SO loved by her family now....yet it is a heartbreaking process to watch and to deal with. So no, I fail miserably every single day but I also love her every single day with a deep fierceness and protection for who she is and for who God intends her to be. I am blessed to be a part of her life...this life.

So all that to say, it is not me who is all that great. But it is me, and the rest of the family, that get to take part in something so much bigger than who we are. Anything else would be very small in comparison.

Christmas Parties and Such......

2011-12-16T15:08:00.000-08:00

John David and Madeline had their last day of school today, whooo hooooo!! They really just had their parties this morning and got out early:)

HAD to get a picture of her hair in braids yesterday, first time since her "hair cut"

Madeline's party stated off with a game

then craft

then reindeer food:)

On to John David's party

Madeline loves all his friends

especially JP, says she is going to marry him. He is so very sweet to her!

M hanging with the boys

Just can't believe the first semester is over........man time flies when you get old!

LOA!!!!!!!

2011-12-15T15:42:00.000-08:00

What sweet relief it is!!!! Thank you Lord!!!!! I think Hank was afraid he was going to have to commit me, seriously!

So this means we should anticipate travel in approximately 12-14 weeks. The emphasis is on APPROXIMATELY since there are no sure things in the adoption world we know.

Just so very relieved.........ahhhhhhh

Who Says Children Aren't Entertaining??????

2011-12-12T15:56:00.000-08:00

This is what I found when I was looking for Madeline and guessed she was in my office:
Seriously, they LET her put them in there!!

TOTALLY made my day!!!!

And Yes I think cats are smarter than dogs, at least he is trying to get out!!!

DAY 97!!

2011-12-12T06:39:00.000-08:00

Hard to believe but we have officially been waiting for our LOA for 97 days, about to gain membership into the century club as it is called on RQ. It is a membership I don't want:)
Here's to a new week, hoping to get that coveted piece of paper!!

Madeline's Christmas Program!

2011-12-08T13:59:00.000-08:00

Once again Madeline did so well in her program. Last Spring she had her first one and her teacher worked so hard to help her feel comfortable. This winter she has it down and was so excited that we were coming to watch her:)

We heard about this flowers for weeks:)

The Three Musketeers:)

Last Year's Visit With Santa

2011-12-04T17:58:00.000-08:00

This was from last year and just makes me laugh!!

I hope our visit this year goes a little better:)

My girl

2011-12-03T06:36:00.000-08:00

This is what I was afraid I would never see, her pure enjoyment of a sweet friend and others in her life. I am reminding myself this morning of how far my sweet girl has come. Yes, we will take steps back like we did the other night, but she is so much farther along in her healing than she was this time 2 years ago. Two years ago she never told me she loved me on her own, only in response to me occasionally. Today she shouts it out randomly her love for me, Daddy, God and Jesus :). My prayer is that I can be the Mom SHE needs me to be, to try to get into her head, and in my feeble attempt to understand HER world and HER fears. I love this sweet girl more than I ever imagined I would, I am fiercely protective of her and yes I do get defensive when others may worry for her. I have to trust that God knows exactly what he is doing in her world and that he will help me to do better with her when it gets tough again.

Psalm 139:13-16

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.

The Ugly Truth

2011-12-01T06:45:00.000-08:00

Yesterday afternoon was hard. Madeline's behavior went downhill all afternoon. I took her with me to pick up a few gifts at Pier One while John David was at swim practice, big mistake number one. She was begging for different things, showed some bad behavior, grunting at me, scowling at me ect but we kept it under control, both of us. I knew she was tired so instead of going home I drove around while she fell asleep. Ahhhh.....she slept for about 40 minutes, through picking up John David until we got to the gym for his basketball scrimmage.......it was wayyyyy downhill after that. Sigh, big sigh! We walked into the gym and were getting on the bleachers when a Dad said something to her.....she scowled at him and grunted......I told her to look at me so we could talk....she would not....I counted down to no avail. It was on.......the fight. I picked her up to take her out of the gym to talk with her and she lost it.......hitting me, saying "I hate you" ect. can't even remember all the name calling. I kept my cool and was very firm, took her outside to the car and planned on sitting in the front while she sat in the back and could calm down. It got worse......she started hitting me, name calling, I hate everyone she could think of....so I went with our old technique and held her. That is so much harder now since she is bigger and harder to control. She bit me, screaming that she had to tee tee. Took her back inside to use bathroom, she yelled at me the whole time she was using the bathroom. I carried her back out to the car, I was ready to beat her up at this point, trying so hard to keep my cool and it was fading fast. She tried to run away from me, I grabbed her, yelled at her to never do that again, put her in the car and drove home with her screaming that she hated me, God, Jesus, Julianne, Janie. I was trying so hard not to yell that all right back at her, instead I kept telling her that I hated her behavior...I lost it big...I was crying by then. I marched her in the house, put her on the bottom stair and told her to sit there until she was ready to talk nicely. She did! But kept yelling at me. I'm sure I said A LOT more wrong things to her during this entire rage, it has blurred into one big glob. In about 5 minutes she said she was ready and cried big tears and told me EVERY LITTLE THING she did wrong. She really seems so sad and sorry for her behavior.
I am at a loss. While I know we used to go through this almost daily, I thought we were beyond the ugliness of biting and hitting! I am heart broken over her brokeness. I'm just so very sad that her reality is to become threatened and lash out at the one who loves her the most. Will she ever get past this? Will I ever learn to handle it better? I need to document this to see an improvement some day. Like I said, I am at a loss.

Obscurity

2011-11-30T17:55:00.000-08:00

3.
a. The quality or condition of being imperfectly known or difficult to understand: "writings meant to be understood . . . by all, composed without deliberate obscurity or hidden motives" (National Review).
b. An instance of being imperfectly known or difficult to understand.

There it is. Obscurity. That is what waiting on a child you have not met is. I love her so, yet have not met her. May be part of the slight insanity I feel right now!
So very hard to wait on this sweet child God has called me to adopt.

AHHHHHH.......A Janie Fix

2011-11-29T10:25:00.000-08:00

This week I am really struggling with the wait for our LOA, day 85, uggggg. Hoping for next week!!! I was thrilled to receive these pics from Diana this morning. I am so thankful that we are able to get pictures so often as some waiting parents only get one update the entire time they wait!

She appears to be so much happier, just made me smile all over!

Pure Joy!!

I just need to hug and squeeze her:)

Those cheeks!!!!

I cannot believe God has entrusted us with such a sweet little soul. What a precious child. These are the first pictures we have seen of her that she appears happy and secure.....I am so thankful!

Come on LOA, we need a trip to China.......please......pretty please!

The Craziness Continues:)

2011-11-25T06:57:00.000-08:00

We were able to have Thanksgiving at our house with all the cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmother on Jeff's side of the family plus just a few of Hank's family, Granddaddy and Ms. Joyce.Granddaddy counts ALL our children as his grandchildren, they all love him so. ALOT of people and ALOT of fun. It is always nice to see all the cousins together. They have grown up together but don't get to see each other like they used to since half have been living in Seattle for the last 9 years (a few years after Jeff died) but they are back in Tennessee again:)

It's funny that I now have children the same ages as my neice and nephew's children, so every one has a cousin to play with:). I wish I got more pics but I was a little busy......

The grown up children all crammed in together at one table:)

Looks like Jason is hiding in this pic, he is Brooke's new boyfriend.......wonder if he will be back after all of us:)

The new set of littles, still kind of funny to see my nephew working so hard to keep up with his 3 beautiful girls!

Oh Allie!!!

Julianne in the middle of saying "Mom stop" along with Emily. They are the babies of the older group:)

think they are getting tired of the camera:)

Madeline and Lily playing their own version of scribblege

Lily looks JUST like her Mama at that age!!

We love John David's new glasses.

Scribblege is always fun!

My Name Is Paige, My Family Is Crazy......

2011-11-20T18:14:00.000-08:00

This afternoon we attempted to take our Christmas family picture....Madeline had just woken up from a nap and she was having NOTHING to do with it.....so we improvised.....they are in dire need of being photoshopped!

ok now she is ready to play with her big brothers and sisters, even though they are acting younger than her!

This one IS..THE..ONLY..NORMAL..ONE

MY FAVORITE

2ND FAVORITE

AND ALL FUZZY BECAUSE I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING

Madeline wanted tutus on everyone and then was taking too long to get ready so we moved on....

LOVE that Madeline is making THE look as well!!!

Madeline was not getting her way so the bigs started acting like her...

She thinks its funny!

I don't think we got a picture, so Allie and Gardner took some of each one of them sitting in a chair to photoshop onto something.....who knows what we will send out!!

Pure Sweetness

2011-11-16T14:12:00.000-08:00

Madeline's preschool teacher stopped me today to tell me that Madeline melted her heart :)
Madeline told her that when her Mommy leaves her room at night after "she puts me to bed, I open my shutter on the window and pray to God". It does not get much sweeter than that!!

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Love this sweet child!

Madeline Is In Her New Room:)

2011-11-15T15:05:00.000-08:00

Madeline and Janie's room is finally finished! Madeline was so excited to sleep in it, she has gotten me up every night since for one thing or another:). I'm hoping tonight is the big night she does not wake me up, fingers crossed. She is so proud of herself sleeping upstairs!

Janie's blanket just arrived and Madeline chose one of her dolls and a stuffed animal for her bed.

Looking forward to adding Janie's picture as well

their sink area

Unfolding

2011-11-12T06:25:00.000-08:00

I just read this on a friend's blog and love it.....so speaks to me .

This is from The Red Sea Rules by Robert J Morgan....

'At the moment of their greatest perplexity, the Red Sea divided before them and they took their first hesitant steps into the midst of the piled up waters, timidly testing the sea floor and finding it a high-way of hope - one that had to be traveled step-by step, moment by moment.'

'We mustn't doubt in the darkness what God has showed us in the light. We mustn't collapse when faced with adversity. Following God's will isn't a matter of unveiling, but unfolding. The One who knows the faraway future reveals each close-at-hand-step as needed.

"To go as I am led, to go when I am led, to go where I am led"; A. T. Pierson once wrote, "it is that which has been for twenty years the one prayer of my life".

Take things moment by moment and when you don't know what to do, just do what comes next. Trust God to lead you a step at a time.'

How Do You.......

2011-11-11T17:26:00.000-08:00

explain the all consuming wait for a child you really don't even know......Yet love with all your heart

I can't.....it is hard....

With Madeline we did not see her picture until 8 weeks before we traveled and THAT seemed like a long time.

We have been looking at Janie's picture for over a year now....waiting to see if she is ours.....and now waiting for all the approvals before we can travel to get her. It.Is.Hard.......the not knowing, how she really is....when we get to go....what she is like....how is her health.....the list goes on and on.

So tonight, I'm just having a hard time....knowing that God is in control, yet tired of the wait.......

"You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."
John 13:7.

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows that we know and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12

Janie Knows She Has a Family!

2011-11-09T12:00:00.000-08:00

This morning I received many pictures of Janie opening her care package from us...I have been waiting all month to see these! Get ready there are a lot:)

QingZhong with her foster family, so very thankful to have a picture of her with them so she will always have it.

Looking at her new family, I wonder what went through her sweet little mind??

Melts this Momma's heart:)

looking at her photo album, I put alot of pictures of her in it as well.

checking out her purse:)

I love that her foster mom put the dress on her too, she looks so sweet!

LOVE that we finally get an open mouthed, tongue sticking out smile!!

Biggest smile we have seen yet!

Sweet Janie we cannot wait to hold you in our arms!!!

Thanks to sweet Diana at Pearl River Outreach, I am spoiled to get pictures each month!! Amen, keeps this Mom going!

Happy Family Day Madeline!!

2011-11-05T07:59:00.000-07:00

It has been 4 years today that we finally held our little Madeline. What a four years it has been....mostly absolute joy in raising her yet many rocky times as she has dealt with learning to completely trust us after not being cared for as an infant in the way a child NEEDS to be cared for.....breaks my heart.

the first picture we saw of her

So tiny, our guess is that she was about 2 months old in this pic

Our very first glimpse of our Madeline

Taking her in my arms, look at that stare down......what we soon learned was how she took every little thing in....does this now, does not miss one little thing!

I was in love immediately...she is such a precious little soul

Here she is with her Daddy, who was scared to death of John David the first few months (it was always kind of a joke as to what he thought a little baby could do, he just did not think he could fix it), he never flinched with this sweet baby:)

Red couch pic

Madeline has come such a long way in these four years. From not sleeping through the night for a few years, yes that is correct a few YEARS, she is a master sleeper. That is unless Mommy did not put her to bed. If I am not home for some reason and Daddy or a babysitter put her to bed she is by my bed at 2 am asking for Mommy to cuddle with her:) NEVER FAILS! She needs consistency, transition is hard........but she has come such a long way during the past years......

The past few months we have seen her run and throw herself into her teachers arms, run up to her friends with joy, want to go with her sister somewhere by herself, freely hugging and kissing us, randomly telling us that she loves us........what seems normal to other parents is miraculous to us, brings tears to her Mommy and Daddy's eyes when she does these things as we were worried that we may not see this. SHE is a miracle of God. She is overcoming her fear and lack of trust........as a 10 month old she was hesitant to trust and remained so until recently...not so much with me and Hank but with her brothers, sisters, friends, family ect. I see much of that hesitancy gone now....get glimpses of it, but not as often. She has learned that she is loved and we can be trusted......an answer to many prayers said by her Mommy and Daddy. Our desire for Madeline is for her to love and live with abandon...to know that God loves her as the child he made her to be!

On to her gifts....when we were in China I bought her a gift to open each year on her family day. I went through them a month ago and realized I need more gifts that are appropriate when she is older...so she is getting 2 this year and I will shop again when we go get Janie:)

Happy family day sweet girl. We love you as big as the sky and the clouds, with a cherry on top....and chocolate sauce, kit kats,,,ect she adds more each night:)

Ralph is Home!

2011-11-03T06:22:00.000-07:00

I am so very thankful to have my cat back. I went to bed last night crying and so sad for my Ralph. John David and I had searched an area pretty far from our house because someone had called and thought Ralph had been in their front yard. John David was so hopeful. After we could not find him we were both just sad at bedtime. Madeline woke me up at 4 am since she is still running a fever. I gave her meds and then could NOT get back to sleep because it was raining and I was so worried for Ralph. I was sitting in the den reading ways of getting your escaped cat back when I thought I heard him, thinking I was going a little bonkers! I kept listening and again thought I heard him but it was so faint I just was not sure. I started walking around the house and this time Goldbug heard him too and was running around the house. I saw him on the front porch when I was standing on the front stairs listening. I think I cried as much finding him as I have over these past few days!

back on the kitchen counter, we really do love our cat!

I woke John David up this morning by putting Ralph on his head....he was so very happy to have his kitty back! Love the bed head JD!

Halloween 2011

2011-11-01T11:14:00.000-07:00

We had our annual hayride trick or treating adventure, and much fun was had!

John David was a serial/cereal killer, JP a ninja and Madeline a pink Power Ranger:)

Stopped by crazy camera mom

Trick or Treating in action

Can't imagine how cute these 2 will be as teenagers

Madeline's "best buddy" Michelle, we love her!

the gang

Mrs. Finch from school, Madeline is mesmerized with her since she came to school dressed as Snow White:)

Yep this is how we roll on Halloween, and the overalls were not a costume, he seriously put those on just to drive the tractor:) All those who "know" Hank, know this to be the truth!

I promise we are a normal family!

On a sad note we cannot find our cat Ralph!! He has never been outside nor tried to and must have gotten out last night in all the chaos. Ads placed, neighbors talked to, tears cried! Aunt Meg has gotten 2 of her escaped cats back by putting out an animal trap with sardines. We will try that tonight with high hopes!! We LOVE our Ralph, he seriously is the best cat!!

Pumpkins, Power Tools and Fingernail Polish!

2011-10-30T17:52:00.000-07:00

We finally got around to carving our pumpkins as Julianne and Chris were about to head back to State. What started out as a normal pumpkin carving soon turned into a power tool carving......one pumpkin was 'SLIGHTLY" hard!

Madeline is a serious pumpkin planner

So is John David

Daddy started with the usual knife....

Decided it was NOT going to work this year..

And pulled out the real artillery

looks so funny to me!

the design had to change since the tool changed!

Design decisions...

Meanwhile Julianne decided Chris needed to finish her manicure..

"dorgeous" as Madeline used to say!

Never a dull moment....yes pumpkins can eat your hand!

More power tools.....Hank was in his element

Madeline's vampire pumpkin:)

John David is already acting like his older brother.....I CANNOT get a serious pic of him, he has learned from the best, Gardner!!

and again:)

Oh......The Wait!

2011-10-26T19:40:00.000-07:00

In adoption, the wait just starts getting to you at some point, I am at that point! We are on day 51 into our wait for our LOA and I think we are about half way there. My caseworker emailed me back today regarding the email I sent yesterday asking what the wait times are right now... Her response.....

Most LSCs (LOA) take 60-110 days. Since your dossier was in translation when we got Pre-Approval, I would probably anticipate it to come on the longer end of that! (sorry!!!) The CCCWA can't change the "track" of the dossier until the translation is done.... As soon as we receive some new ones, I can give you a better idea!

So.....the wait continues. For a few minutes I thought "we are just stuck at the CCWCA for now". And then I remembered how big God is....why in the world would He do what he already has done with Janie, to just forget about her....and let her paperwork just be...without Him being in control.......so now I will wait on Him and His perfect timing. He knows exactly when He wants her LOA released and for us to travel to get her. How is it that God can do soooo much for us yet we so quickly forget Him for the moment? I'm working on that one today....and I'm sure for everyday.....thankful that He forgives me each time I doubt....

Do you know how God controls the clouds and makes his lightning flash? Job 37:15

Tom's Farm Fun

2011-10-24T06:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went to Tom's Farm for our annual get together with friends from the kids school. John David and Madeline always have such a great time as do the adults!

John David and Sam were pretty nasty after dragging on the ground 500 times:)

The Moms

fun hayride!

these two are so cute together, can't even imagine what they will get into next!

My sweet friend Courtney with Hanky

Win, John David and Caden

they had so much fun:)

Adoption

2011-10-19T19:09:00.000-07:00

.....is hard! We always read about the happy parts....... But we all know as Christians that life is not easy, He did not promise us that it is. I had a situation with Madeline today that was very ugly... .....Her behavior....... And mine. She became threatened by having to pick up extra children from school and acted out,very badly, and I became slightly undone....... Understatement! Madeline does not react well to transition or the unknown....probably due to not being attended to as an infant........but she does not........she has come such a long way but the scars are still there....... Probably forever........but she will learn to deal with it better as she has already. She is resilient........yet so very fragile.........just breaks my heart. I really struggle with God and what is happening to all these sweet helpless children all over the world........I am thankful that I can make a difference in my daughters life as inadequate as I am.......yes I get frustrated.......I overreact.......I am not understanding and expect her to act "normal"........ I become irrational....I react instead of stepping back and understandIng.........I "get" it after the fact! So here I am tonight just like I did with my big kids, looking at them sleeping and wishing I had been more patient, more loving, just more! It is more.....hard this time around........

"for with much wisdom comes much sorrow;the more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes 1:18

Sneak Peek.....Madeline and Janie's Room!!!

2011-10-18T18:09:00.000-07:00

Madeline and I have been working on her and Janie's room for about a month now. Madeline had very definite ideas about her new room, Allie's old room! I made the mistake of showing her pics from Pottery Barn and she feel in love with the pink canopies to hang over the beds. Those were a must have! Thankfully we were able to find the spreads at the outlet store:). I am hoping to have her moved into her room by next week....still painting the dresser, need to hang pics, move clothing ect.......

On the Pottery Barn website there were butterflies on the canopy....well when we received them, there are no butterflies on the canopy......after a call to Pottery Barn, it was a pic in someone's house and they had added the butterflies....so Madeline and I found some on Etsy:)

lovin the clock hangin on the table:)

Chandelier courtesy Allie.....it was her birthday gift when we moved into our house.....so we will keep it until she says otherwise.....right now she says it does not go with her house:)

Just Plain Busy

2011-10-16T16:07:00.000-07:00

The weeks keep rolling into the weekend and then repeat.........

We have been busy with John David's swim meets, working on Madeline and Janie's new room and visiting Julianne at State:). Allie, Eric, Gardner and Kendyl got to go with us yesterday and we actually went into the game instead of just tailgating. As we made our way to our seats in the clouds all the kids teased me that I called and asked for the worst tickets they had haha!! Madeline even made the comment that "those football players look like ants"! It was hot but great to have everyone together.....hard to do with this big ole family! Of course I forgot my camera so thank goodness for my faithful iphone!!

Madeline hung with the bigs ALL day!

Julianne bought John David a cow bell, used it in the car on the way home too!!!! hmmmm....

Don't think I have ever gotten a serious pic of Gardner, thank goodness Kendyl will smile:)

The famous "M".....Madeline thinks it is for her name and starts looking for it as soon as we get into town.

She also calls Ms State "Memphisippi State" !

We don't correct her yet:)

Oh and can't leave out the fact that Daddy got a big ole bear and so did Granddaddy!

Is that big or what!!! Hank said it looked like a Volkswagon and charged them....the guides even shot!

Thinking I'll just keep on staying home!

Back at home......

She is too cute in this outfit!!

AND a MESS!!!

and just because....we really need a trip to China!

Can't wait to meet you sweet Janie!!!

More Janie pics:)

2011-10-08T17:18:00.000-07:00

THOSE eyes just get me every time!!

I NEED to hug her now please!! She is so very precious and "needs us" as Madeline likes to say:)

Hank and I both love this picture since she does not look as threatened, almost like she is wondering why the picture taker is standing under her:)

It is day 35 in waiting for our LOA....not that I'm counting or anything!!

Oh and really wondering if I get to call her Janie or not.....as in EVERYONE refers to her as Lily Jane!! Guess we will have to see if she looks and acts more like a Janie or Lily Jane. I am a little over the 2 name business since we have Julianne and John David but we will have to see what fits HER:)...any thoughts on her name????

Janie's first care package!

2011-10-02T08:05:00.001-07:00

I wonder what will go through her sweet little mind when she receives this. I just can't imagine what she will think or feel. Her little world is about to be forever changed and I have to trust that God is holding her in his arms and will prepare her precious heart for us.

A Janie Fix

2011-10-02T06:36:00.000-07:00

Counting the days down until she is a Wright!

I love this look she is giving!

JUST CAN'T WAIT!

A Bear Hunt....Seriously

2011-10-01T17:26:00.000-07:00

YEP.....thats what Hank and Granddaddy are hunting somewhere in Alaska right now......yep....this is my life:) Daddy is gone for TWO weeks cavorting around the woods with his Daddy....can't get much better than that for 2 grown men to play for 2 weeks!!

Madeline asked me last night when she gets to go hunting with Daddy.....really! Gotta love a hunter girl even though I don't know any personally as I am not any kind of hunter nor do I want to be!

So....we are praying for safe hunting and arrival back home for Daddy and Granddaddy!!

Madeline thinks the bear needs to be in Daddy's bedroom, Mommy does not agree.....thinking it may end up in John David's bedroom.....I hope!

Big Day at Mississippi State:)

2011-09-24T20:02:00.000-07:00

We are only able to get to a few games each season. While I LOVE going I usually dread how Madeline behaves. We have finally figured out that she gets overwhelmed by the crowds and acts out. Well this year seems to be a whole other ballgame. She RAN to Julianne to hug her and hugged and kissed her goodbye. That is a BIG deal......since Julianne has been in college Madeline will not talk to her or hug her or anything for that matter for a few hours...it is as if she holds a grudge. She finally admitted to Julianne last spring that she was mad at her when she leaves for school:). Anyway we have made SO much progress and this mommy is so happy with her maturity!! The pics say it all!

happy to be together again

already has Taylor doing what she loves best, stickers:)

Now Carson is pulled into the sticker vortex as well!!

Julianne, Madeline, Taylor and Carson

The twins still obeying their charge

random

randomer(is that a word?)

LOVE this kid!!

Seriously he is so cool!!

The sticker entourage

Julianne and Margaret

Seriously she could be my child too! and yes I do need some wrinkle helper too!

And she even jumped in Julianne's arms to say goodbye, such a great day!!

Tough Enough, Swim-a-Long and a Triathalon

2011-09-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

Wow, last weekend was a crazy one for John David. He and Madeline had Tough Enough at their school on Friday afternoon. All the grade levels have a race and the kids really get into it. John David can't wait until next year when he is in 5th grade and gets to run a mile:).

We were so proud of Madeline this year. Last year she was very overwhelmed by all the classes and parents and would have nothing to do with the race. The preK and Jrk run down the field in a pack, it is really cute. As soon as we arrived this year, she was totally into it and could not wait until it was her turn. She has blossomed this fall. We are not seeing that scared, timid little girl who is afraid of new situations. We think it is because she was so nervous about getting a new teacher and class, and now that she knows how much her new teacher loves her she is so much more confident. It is a blessing to see her like this, just precious. That afternoon she ran over to a my good friend's husband and sat in his lap and hugged him, we were all shocked and so thrilled to see her embrace others with such willingness and openness, such an answer to prayer!

The Three Muskateers

Madeline LOVES John David's friend John Parker:)

They are too cute!

At the start

And finish:)

some of the 4th grade boys

Saturday morning John David had his swim-a-long for his swim team. They raise money for the laps they swim, the goal is 100 laps, which he completed easily:) We are a big swimming family and are pretty competitive with each other. I swim 2 miles 3 days a week as does Hank, so John David, Hank and I try to see who swims more and faster. I'm winning right now but that won't last much longer, John David will kick my rear end by next year. The only reason I'm beating Hank now is because he swims 2 days a week instead of 3, he'd be right back to killing me if he added another day!!

The finishers!

On Sunday, John David competed in his 3rd kids triathalon. He did so well and really pushed himself. I think this was the year that he got the fever, he is still out of breath after the run and said "that was AWESOME!" So cute. He won the Cory Horton sportmanship award this year and we are so very proud of him. A child is chosen by being recommended by another family. Our friend Elaine wrote the sweetest recommendation for him, her son Graham was also competing. Hank told John David that he will always be more proud of how he treats others than how he competes, it was a sweet weekend!!

Graham, John David, Kayley and of course Madeline

Not wanting to obey her Mama

JD and Graham, this was Graham's first triathalon and he ROCKED!

Mom please stop!!

He really was in the race here:)

Yay and they are done, they completed it within 1 minute of each other:)

THE END, WHEW!!!!

Opening Doors

2011-09-20T15:51:00.000-07:00

When Hank and I started our paperwork on Janie, we both felt that we were being obedient to God yet did not have any idea what he was going to do with this. Hank was really hopeful that God wanted him to be willing to say "yes" to him and would not make him go through it, kinda like Abraham and Isaac....I was a little skeptical of that:)! We both had the attitude of let's just see what doors he opens and closes. I have to say during this entire period not one door closed, only our own disbelief that it could be done got in the way.

When we first started working with our agency the worker in charge of our dossier called. We talked about the process and I shared with her what we were trying to do: I did already have a commitment from the head of waiting children, Stephanie, that she would help us ( thanks to sweet Diana). Well this worker was pretty skeptical to say the least, helpful but skeptical. I went for a walk after I got off the phone and was praying about it, I remember asking myself if I was crazy and I clearly heard "no". Seriously I thought I was losing my mind. I called my sister and shared it with her and she totally believed God was telling us to keep on going.....so we did. I have to say over the next few months when dealing with home study delays, USCIS delays ect, I kept going back to God telling me "no" you all are not crazy, keep on. I had to remind myself that He was in charge, we just had to keep moving with it. Needless to say that was the most stressful time.

Fast forward to Friday, August 26th. I got an email from Stephanie that "Llil" was going to be released on the shared list that Monday evening. I was scared to death but thankful we knew she was finally being released. And as God always does, we had just gotten our LID date the week before so we were good to go.
I was a nervous wreck the evening of the release of the list. I begged God to not give her to us if it was not in his will even though I desperately wanted her. I knew that he knows what is best for us, I prayed for her family no matter who it was......and then it seems like a I waited forever. Hank went on to bed because he had surgeries the next morning, seriously how do men do that????:) Stephanie called at 10:30 and said "We got her", I was so stunned and so very thankful. I had been so hopeful but did not know what God wanted, always wondered if he was using her to lead us to another child, but my heart always told me to wait on her.

Then the sleeplessness set in......her file was really scary and uncertain to me. I don't think I slept much at all because I was so worried that Hank would tell me we could not do it. I got out of bed at 4:30 and was so burdened and sad for how her life started and so uncertain of my feelings. I was walking out of the hall bathroom and I clearly heard "watch this miracle unfold before you". I just stood there and thought, did I just think that??? But I don't use words like unfold and I don't refer to myself as you. I felt like I was slowly losing it.

Hank got up shortly after that and had read through her file. He was not really concerned about all I was concerned with and went into doctor mode and started calling the forces in to look at her file. I was terrified and he felt we did not have enough information yet. We had 72 hours to lock her file and I reached out to my blog buddies who have walked this before me and they helped me so very much! (thank you Diana and Jennifer). We had lots of doctors conversing and sending us opinions. I got an email from Diana and really thought that Hank would interpret it that Janie was urine incontinent, but his reaction was still, we don't have enough information to say that yet. By Thursday it came down to that we had no information telling us we could not do it, no doors closed yet. So we sent in our LOI. Janie has imperforate anus and one of the concerns we had was if she was urine continent and we could not get a straight answer on that yet. We knew that Cincinnati Childrens can help us with the bowel problems but could we handle a child that has to be catherized many times a day for urine for the rest of her life. So we waited on those answers over the past 3 weeks. About a week ago I had a peace come totally over me that God had it under control....he had brought us this far and was not going to stop now. I even told Hank that we were getting her and I wasn't worried, we could handle it. He just looked at me with this blank stare, still makes me laugh, I think I was a little too cocky!!

On Sunday evening September 18th I got an email from Diana telling me that Qingzhong " can control her urine. she doesn't leak urine. She has postoperative formation of anus, postoperative repair of rectovaginal fistula. So she can not control of stool. And her stool leak out very often. So she need use diaper."

Well that was the best news ever. I had resigned myself to believing that we would not get a straight answer and were going to have to jump out there and go with it. So very thankful that God gave us a clear answer and Hank can now go get his little girl without even more medical worries than we already have. He knows way too much medically to be able to let that go, it is so much easier for those of us that don't know all that can possibly happen. I think in the end God blessed Hank for being willing and gave him the answer he needed to know before we travel to get her.

I want Janie to read this someday and know how much we loved her just from seeing those sweet eyes and how God lead us to her and saved her for us. It is a privilege to be a part of her story, to have front row seats watching what God wants to do with her life. Now I cannot wait to hold that sweet baby and watch how John David and Madeline interact with her. They have never wavered in their desire to have her as their sister. Allie, Gardner and Julianne all want to go to China with us so we are trying to figure it all out now. I NEVER in a million years thought I would have 6 children. As usual the joke is on me since I am the queen of never say never!

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Great Joy!

2011-09-19T09:23:00.000-07:00

It is with great joy and thankfulness that we introduce our newest daughter and sister Lily Jane, soon to be called Janie by her new family!!

This is the first picture I ever saw of our girl. We started sponsoring her through Pearl River Outreach. Her eyes never let me go. As as the saying goes the rest is history. God knew exactly what he was doing with her and in my heart when I first saw her. My heart has been burdened for orphans since we went to China in 2007 for Madeline. I think once God opens your eyes to orphans you are never the same. I had accepted that. I prayed for orphans, we began sponsoring orphans.....I remember distinctly feeling "maybe I'll feel better now". Well I didn't and I don't. I have come to realize through this journey to Janie that God does not want us to "feel better" , I think I will always be burdened for orphans! I know what God wanted with me on that day: to trust him, believe him and to be willing to serve him.

Hank and I had not even talked about going to China again. We are 48 years old for heavens sake!! Hank reminded me of that again this morning:) Obviously God had other plans with our lives. We were both very content with our big family, Madeline has just started blossoming in her trust for others, kids are in school, we might get some time to ourselves....the list goes on.

Well, here we are 9 months later now waiting on our LOA from China. God is so very good. Over these 9 months he has once again shown me that he can be trusted. This story may make some think I'm crazy which I'm pretty certain I am! I have had a few instances in my life where God spoke to me and afterward I just sat there and wondered" is this real, did that just happen?" The first time was back in 1993. Jeff and I had just left the neuro surgeon's office for a surgery consult. We had been told that he had a 50 percent chance of dying on the table during surgery due to a bleed. I had STRONG reservations about the surgery, Jeff not so much. We were driving along Poplar Avenue and he just started talking about how he did not think he could do it ect........... then it just happened.....I talked him into it, KNEW he had to have it. When the conversation was over, he was having the surgery and he NEVER wavered again. I NEVER again felt confident in the surgery. God made me talk him back into it. It was the strangest experience I have ever had until now. Every time I became paralyzed with fear over the surgery, I looked back to that day in the car and trusted God. Trusted that he knew best. Thankfully God never allowed Jeff to question again as we waited 6 weeks for his surgery date. After an 11 hour surgery that sweet man was able to live 7 more years, allowed to be a husband and father for more time than he was ever given medically. And for that I am thankful I listened, that I believed He wanted Jeff to have the surgery.

Well, here we are in 2011. The first week of the new year I wrestled with God over this sweet child. All the disbelief of , are we really to consider this???? I was walking down the hall to bed and clearly felt him saying, this is for Madeline. The realization that this was not about me and Hank hit me. This is about "Lili" (as she was called by Pearl River and now by us) and Madeline. Hank and I continued to talk, all the while he was thinking I had lost my mind:) . That week God started driving Hank crazy. He could not get away from it. He went to a veterianary meeting and what are they speaking about???? Not so much veterinary things as business and goals ect. The speaker asked them to think of what they have done in their lives that they are most proud of and fulfilled by. Hank's answer was Madeline:). On Sunday we are in our Sunday school class and our teacher is speaking on service ect. He goes on to speak about retirement and are we really supposed to put our hopes and dreams into an "easier" time in our lives....is retirement spoken of in the bible ect.....Hank leaned over and asked me if I had called our teacher...

We move on to the church service. Our pastor is speaking on what???? SERVICE. He talks about putting ourselves in a place that is uncomfortable, uncertain, being willing to serve where God is leading you. Hank leans over again and asks did I call our pastor??

We filed our application with our agency that week.....

More tomorrow on the rest of the story.....

Facts about our sweet girl:

Her birthday is May 9, 2008

She was born in Changsha, Hunan

She is in foster care through Pearl River Outreach

She is the cutest thing I have ever seen!!

celebrating her birthday, last one without her family!

I have so many pictures with this expression on her face, she is so uncertain of strangers poor baby!

Oh How I Love This Child!

2011-09-15T15:33:00.000-07:00

This is the "after" of our playtime with scissors:)

Look how great that left hand is working now:)

she makes me laugh

I took these one day on my iphone when she was playing pre haircut
She makes me smile!

Sparkle the bear goes just about everywhere with her now!

Gotta go get another one soon :)

Judgement......My soapbox

2011-09-14T17:03:00.000-07:00

"Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?" Romans 2:1-3

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." Matthew 7:1-5

Today I was reading a friend's blog and someone anonymously, of course, wrote a hurtful comment about my friend. I was so sad and mad at the same time. As fellow mothers we should be lifting each other up, not pushing down. There are MANY verses in the bible about judgement, I guess so, since we all are privy to do so. I think I judged more in my younger years since life was hard and I just did not have the maturity to understand how futile and wrong it is to judge. It is so very easy to judge another when you are not in their shoes......easy to say you would not do that if you were them....I would never do that. Well I am the queen of never say never!!! I had my tubes tied at 28 years old because "I' was done, obviously God was not!! I was not EVER going to drive a Suburban....haha...don't have one now but drove one for 10 years and loved every second of it!!

Those are all kind of young, funny things...... but what about getting married again less than a year after loosing your husband of 16 years to cancer....yeah I got some judgement on that one. My closest family and friends however were so very happy for me. Why?? Because they know me and know what a blessing and a God given gift Hank is to our family!! Makes me teary thinking of that time and of him:) Yes it was a time of judgement that I chose not to see since I knew that I was where God would have me.... I knew he had handed me this wonderful man on a silver platter.... do I accept or pay attention to judgement. I chose to accept and and I am so very thankful that I did. My life and my children's lives are much richer because I listened to God and accepted what he gave me.... I am thankful for that...... thankful that I did not care of others judgement.....thankful that God had matured me to listen to him........

Wow.....all that because someone judged a friend of mine!!!!

We can all learn from others how to be more Godly wives and mothers without judging. We all have decisions we need to make for our family and what is best for us....private, public, home schooling.....sports, recreational and competitive.....vegetarian, gluten free, junk:).....no children to 8.......when to start your children in preschool..........whatever it is, God gives us choices or decides for us..........our choice is that we listen to God or we listen to judgement..... I choose God every time!!

SERIOUSLY, SHE DID IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!

2011-09-13T15:03:00.000-07:00

REALLY??

AGAIN I ASK??

SURE HOPE YOU LIKE SHORT HAIR............AGAIN!!!

After I calmed down and stopped saying over and over how I just could not believe she did it again, I asked her why??? Her response in a quiet, sad voice was, "because it's fun"

I did laugh then!!

ARGGGG her hair just got long enough to put in braids again!!!

In other news, still waiting on a few answers......God is so good!